Keanon has a Doctors appointment tomorrow at ten. Nothing new right? No reason to feel apprehensive to the point of insomnia right? Well, let me vent a little. I haven't been back to Primary Children's since October 25th 2004, the day Amada passed away. I am the type of person who hates to have fear and apprehension control my life. So I usually deal with my fears head on. I didn't want to have to find detours when driving up by Primary Children just to aviod that rembering all those times making that"dreaded drive" so I forced myself to drive it several times right after Amada died. I have not however been able to make myself enter those massive glass doors. Well, Keanon's appointment tomorrow will require me to do just that! He is seeing a ENT at PCMC and I am nervous to say the least. Not about the appointment but about all the emotions and memories that may hit me the moment those doors open. I still remeber the first time I walked in to the lobby. The seriousness of my daughters situation hit me like a ton of bricks and I just broke down right there.... every time I went in after that it was the most difficult thing I did all day but I knew Amada needed her Mom so I did it for her. I guess now that is why I do it again... Keanon needs his Mom and I WILL NOT let my fears or the past get in the way!
4 comments:
Mist, I hope everything went okay today with you and Keanon, I can only imagine how tough that would be! Just know my thoughts are with you today! Love you lots...Meg
I hope everything goes well. I can't even imagine how tough that would be. There are so many emotions associated with your time there. I will be thinking of you. Love ya!
Hope everything went well today. We had some tough times there but nothing compared to yours. Just remember, you are a lot stronger than you may think you are. You have proven that time and again. We love you and are here if you need to talk!
Hope things went well. Call me if you need anything. I am thinking about you girl. You are amazing.
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