No this is not a tag where you get to see my house in it's true disarray. This is me facing the facts... being honest with myself and being willing to wear my heart on my sleeve. Most of you know that Dave and I were lucky enough to be chosen by one of gods amazing "angels" to adopt and raise Keanon 2 and 1/2 years ago. Katie is Keanon's Birth Mother and I adore her. We have a bond that has just astounded me but no, this is not what me "coming out " (Pardon the cliche) is about. Forgive my rambling.. this is a difficult subject for me. Any of you who know me have heard me say that I am not interested in having more kids.... specifically right now. This is where the honesty comes in..... I LIED!!!! Not on purpose, not 
to you, but to myself. I figured if I said we were done having kids the hurt and emptiness would go away. I also think that I was putting up a wall to protect myself. Adoption is AMAZING but DIFFICULT business. The waiting, the feeling there is something wrong with you, that you are not good enough or even that all the other waiting couples are more deserving. What it really comes down to is that I want nothing more than to be a Mom. Yes I am lucky to have 2 "angel" kids and 1 "Miracle" Child ( thanks Kate!!!!) And if that was all the lord saw fit to give us I would learn to deal with his help but I feel like our family is not finished yet. There is a hole or shall I say several holes that become very apparent when I least expect it. So what does this all mean? Well, the 
conclusion that we have come to is that our family isn't complete yet but unlike most "normal" families, we don't know exactly how to complete it. I feel that the path is pitch black and light less. Faith is believe in things hoped for but unseen so to that end I guess Faith is our answer. Trust in the lords plan and the missing pieces in our family portrait will fall into place. So for those of you who wonder what I do at 2 am when I can't sleep, now you know. This is just me being honest with myself. Thanks for indulging a slightly discouraged, worn around the edges, Mother! (Adoptive and Biological)
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Our "Adoption"
Journey,"Miracle" child, and
the "Angel" who made sure he found us.
PS. So what do you think? Is it time to start the adoption process again?
12 comments:
Yes, yes, yes! Every child and every adoption is different. Heavenly Father will put the right one for you in your home (wait . . . wasn't that you telling me that at one point?). Adoption is a miracle . . . and God works through miracles everyday!
Love you -- and I'll keep you in my prayers :). -- Heidi
You sure know how to make a girl cry! I will be keeping you guys in my prayers, I just know that your next little one will come & bless you with another miracle gift! I'm always here if you want to talk instead of just staying up by yourself with all these thought! Love you!
Misty. I bet you feel like you got a lot off of your chest. Each of these decisions is so personal and takes a lot of prayer and, like you said, faith. I know that you have a loving HF and TONS of faith. Hang in there and I'm sure that the path with become apparent to you and the pathway for your adorable little family. I love you lots and am always thinking about and praying for you : )
Loves,
E
Oh Misty I am so sorry. I don't wish any of this on my worst enemy. I don't know if you were lying to everyone or if you just weren't ready. It took me a long while to be ready again. It's a tough process. The unknown is very scary and it just kinda sucks. I am very confident that Heavenly Father will push you in the right direction. Or if you are like me he will SHOVE you in the right direction. Be open to his promptings. Maybe we need to hang out.
Come on momma, join the world of "2" kids. I think you should go for it, I have no idea what it is like to go through anything that you have been through other than being up at Primarys. But you and Dave are amazing and so strong and I think Keanon would love to have someone to play with. You guys will make a decision that fits you best and if you need me I am here. Love you
Mist!! First I just want to tell you that you are so great!!! I am so greatful that Katie was able to find you and Dave! I know that Keanon couldn't have better parents!! Any child would be lucky to have you two as their mommy and daddy!! I don't think I have ever met anyone that has been through what you have and still has such a good attitude about life!! I'm sure when the right little one comes along he/she will find their way to you, just like Keanon did!!
P.S. Loved the video, but it did make me shed a few tears!! :) love ya!
I tried to call you that day, I just wanted to say thank you. I've been sick for 11 weeks with this one and sometimes it is hard to remember what a blessing this little one is, no matter how miserable I am! And hon, you can borrow my kids anytime! You and I have talked about this before so you know I am here for you no matter what you need! Love you tons girl!
ANY child would be blessed to come into your home! You two are great parents, and I'm sure that you will raise amazing children. When the time is right, you'll know, just put your trust in the Lord. Love you guys!
You know I think you are a wonderful mother and such an amazingly strong person. Any child would be so blessed to come to your family. Knowing the overwhelming trials you went through to get Keanon, I can only imagine how draining it must be to think about starting it all again. One of the greatest blessings we have is that of personal revelation for yourself and your family, and I know that you will be lead to the right thing for you. And some angel mother out there will be led to you. We love you guys and will keep you in our thoughts and prayers.
Way to make a girl cry. I didn't realize you had video of when Katie handed Keanon over to you. There are so many feelings and emotions that come with adoption, that most of us would never understand. Thanks for sharing. We will have you in our prayers. We love you!!!!!!
Wow- way to go on your honesty Mist. I think you should try to adopt again. Things will work out. You are amazing just like all of these other people have said. Its true. Good luck!
WOW! Misty, I started to cry when I saw that movie. I think it really hit me so hard because I pictured my mom and how she must have felt giving me away! I Know that anyone that comes into your family will be so blessed! I am so proud of you and think that you should adopt when your heart is ready and your mind is too. I come from a family of fifteen and all our adopted but two. I know that my adopted mom loves us all and would give her life for us.. But she is not well and some of my younger siblings suffer from that.. when a child is adopted then there are alot of empty feeling left and questions that they will always have, but you can make all the difference when you are truly ready. I love you misty and I love kennon he truly has such a glow about him and he really is a miracle. tell him that I have more stickers for him! hope to you soon! love you all!
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